The importance of good self-esteem

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]As this blog is about excellence, let me talk about the importance of a good self-esteem. In my opinion, to be convinced about your own worth helps you work more effectively, be more productive and feel better about yourself in general. Knowing yourself, your strengths and weaknesses and holding yourself in high esteem, will help you be kinder to yourself, accept your responsibilities and live more excellently.

Being insecure affects my productivity?

Well, yes. Because it can negatively affect the ability to work autonomously and to make decisions. Insecurity can lead to you doubting too much about whether you are doing a task correctly. You may not ask for the necessary clarifications before starting a task for fear of seeming incompetent. Which is what in the end can make you look like a worse professional, when you end up not carrying out the task correctly or getting stuck.

The other option is that, not having dared to ask for the necessary clarification, you end up asking once and again, the person who gave you the job, whether you are doing it right, whether you need to include this or that, whether you ought to do it that way or another. Not the best way to make you seem a better professional either, which ultimately will not help your sense of self-worth and self-confidence.

What else can a lack of self-esteem cause?

It can have a negative influence on your capacity to solve conflicts and translate into a lack of assertiveness. Maybe you do not dare to share your opinion and take position for yourself or things you care about. This may also lead to feelings of frustration and resentment.

Or maybe you do not dare to say no: No to tasks; No to obligations being imposed on you by somebody or yourself; No to things you do not like. This lack of assertiveness can lead to you overloading yourself with jobs and commitments you do not have time for, you cannot or do not want to do.

But how can I improve my self-esteem?

Believe in your self-worth

First of all, you have to convince yourself of your own worth. Mindfulness teaches that all living creatures have value just due to the fact of being alive. This concept may seem difficult to assimilate, especially in the Western world where we are taught to believe that the worth depends on what we do and achieve.

But even with the occidental mentality, everybody is good at something. One person has great people skills, another is a great cook, still another is a star selling. Somebody is great at organising, another at listening to people… options are endless. Figure out where your strengths lie and find a way to potentiate them.

Do not compare yourself to others

A very common mistake is to compare ourselves with others. This one knows to do that better than I. That other one is more successful. That one is happier.

On one hand, we usually compare our inner self with the public persona of others. Or do you not try to show the best version of yourself in public? On the other hand, it is not bad to have models of success and conduct. They may teach you how they have arrived where they are, what habits and knowledge they have acquired etc. But remember that that person has not always been there. He/she will have started somewhere and has grown and developed to get where he/she is.

The only valid comparison is with yourself, thinking where you come from, all you have achieved and where you want to go to be happier. If you remember this, it will be easier to feel well with yourself and improve your self-esteem.

Never stop learning

The man who is too old to learn, was probably always too old to #learn. #HenrySHaskins #selfesteem Click To Tweet

Continued learning is key to keep evolving as a person and a professional. You may improve in useful topics and tools for your job or acquire knowledge on subjects you are interested in or are passionate about. There are many ways to learn new things. You may opt for formal or informal training depending on your interests and goals. You may choose between classroom or distance training, making use of the offer available nowadays on the internet.

Ideas to continue learning

Another way to learn is watching videos, listening to podcasts or webinars on subjects of interest. TEDx, for example, is a fantastic platform with videos of inspiring talks on all kind of topics.

You may also choose to start a new hobby like learning to play an instrument, learning to do craftwork, learning to play tennis or whatever.

If you like culture, visiting museums and expositions, going to concerts, the theatre or on a sightseeing tour are fantastic alternatives to learn and discover new things whilst enjoying the experience.

Are you a nature lover? Trips to a forest, the mountains or wherever are great options to broaden your horizons whilst escaping the city.

And last but not least, I suggest you take a liking to reading. Be it books, magazines, newspapers, blogs. Be it fiction or non-fiction, reading for amusement or to develop skills, the options are unlimited.

By reading we discover our world, our history, and ourselves. #DanielJBoorstin #selfesteem Click To Tweet  

One can learn in many ways. But whatever you choose to learn and in whichever way, I am convinced that it will help you feel more self-worth and self-confidence.

Develop a #passion for #learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow. Anthony J. D’Angelo #selfesteem Click To Tweet

Get out of your comfort zone

There is nothing like trying out new things to grow as a person and improve your self-esteem. Getting out of our comfort zone broadens our horizons and makes us braver. And I talk from experience. Launching myself into the adventure of first doing practical trainings abroad and then moving to Spain and having to stand on my own feet, has helped me grow as a person.

But you do not need to take on important things from the start. Begin with small experiments. Think of something you have always wanted to do or try and you have been leaving for further on. Think of things that you feel insecure about or even afraid of. How can you overcome this feeling? May it be related to a lack of knowledge about the topic? Go investigate and inform yourself better. It will reduce the respect you feel for it.

Ideas to step out of you comfort zone

Do you get really nervous when talking to unknown people? Tomorrow ask somebody on the street for directions (even though you know perfectly how to get there).

Are you learning a language but have a hard time getting to talk? Look for an international meet-up and convince a friend to accompany you.

Do you have a hard time being assertive, saying no or sharing your opinion? Next time you are served a dish in a restaurant you are not sure about, dare to ask the waiter to change it, to fry the steak a bit more or whatever. Anyway, you will have to pay what you ordered so it might as well be to your liking, don’t you think?

As you see these are few simple examples, but which can serve as little experiments.

He who is not everyday conquering some #fear has not learned the secret of #life. #RalphWaldoEmerson #selfesteem Click To Tweet

Do a good job

In order to feel worthier, give your best at work. Learn to organise well your tasks and to determine your priorities in order to dedicate your time to the most important and work more effectively. The time management expert Brian Tracey proposes to ask yourself what you are being paid for; what you and only you can do which will make a difference; and what is the most valuable you can dedicate your time to at that moment. Knowing you have had a fruitful workday and have added value, will make you feel satisfied with yourself and thus more confident about your worth.

Train your social skills

It is shown that emotional intelligence is key to good interpersonal relations and to have success as a professional. This is because understanding and managing the own emotions as well as the ability to comprehend others’ emotions will facilitate relations with other people. There is very interesting literature on this matter out there, being the book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” by Daniel Goleman a classic. This is a very stimulating topic which can help you get to know yourself better.

Surround yourself by people who appreciate you

Finally, think about the people who surround you and which you spend the most time with. They can have quite some influence on the vision you have about yourself. Obviously, the ideal would be to have enough self-confidence so, what others think about you does not affect you. But the human being is a social animal and we all like to be appreciated.

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. #JimRohn #selfesteem Click To Tweet

Therefore, if you spend much time with people undermining your self-esteem or with people who have a low self-esteem, it can negatively influence your own self-confidence. If, on the contrary, you surround yourself with self-confident, motivated, inspiring people who appreciate you, it will help you feel better about yourself and become braver.

Recap

• Believe in your own worth. Love and respect yourself and discover your strengths.
• Do not compare yourself to others, but to the person you have been, are and want to be.
• Never stop learning and you will never stop growing.
• Get out of your comfort zone and become braver.
• Do a good job. A job well done gives personal satisfaction.
• Train your social skills and emotional intelligence in order to interact more confidently with others.
• Surround yourself with people who appreciate you and help you grow.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest #accomplishment. #RalphWaldoEmerson #selfesteem Click To Tweet

Do you have any other advice on how to improve self-esteem? Have you thrown yourself into some small experiment? I would love to hear how it went and how you felt.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_empty_space][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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