Are there things that you think you are bad at? Do you believe you cannot do certain things? Do you find it difficult to achieve certain goals because something seems to hold you back? Maybe you find it difficult to try an activity or face certain situations. Let us see what this has to do with limiting beliefs and how to identify and overcome them.
What are limiting beliefs
Thoughts like “I can’t”, “I am not enough”, “Nobody loves me”, “I will never get” etc. are barriers or excuses that we make. Limiting beliefs affect how you perceive the world. What you think you can do or achieve. What you think about yourself and what you believe others think of you.
However, we are not born with these beliefs. At some point we acquired them.
They can be phrases that we often hear from our parents, family, friends or other reference persons. Perhaps they are behaviours that we have experienced towards ourselves. They can also be negative experiences that we have had. That is why we have developed limiting fears and related beliefs.
But ultimately, limiting beliefs create a cage that holds back our development and the achievement of our potential, dreams, and goals.
How beliefs work
We tend to do more of what we think we are good at. However, we avoid or do little of what we think we are bad at.
In other words, beliefs can strengthen or limit our potential. They dictate how much action we take to learn or achieve something. That in turn influences the result we get. And that result reinforces our belief. Therefore, it is a feedback loop.
But realise that beliefs may not be universal truths. It is necessary to question whether they are simply thoughts that we have repeated so many times that they seem true.
Why you should get rid of limiting beliefs
If we have a positive belief we will take more action. Then we get better results. And that reinforces our belief and will increase our potential to achieve it. So, then we will take more action and, in turn, get more and better results.
However, when you have a limiting belief that makes you think you cannot or do not know, you limit your potential. You will take less action to learn and improve. Therefore, you will get less results. That in turn will reinforce your belief that you are not capable. In the end, you will most likely stop even trying.
Limiting beliefs hurt your self-esteem and self-confidence. They also hold back your personal and professional development. They can even harm your interpersonal relationships.
Types of limiting beliefs
As I said before, limiting beliefs are our ideas about how the world works, our opinion about ourselves and our abilities, and what we believe others think of us. Let us look at some examples of limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs about yourself
- I cannot. I am not capable. How am I going to do … and its variants.
- I am dumb.
- I am not enough.
- I am fat / not pretty enough.
- I have to be perfect.
- I am what I am. I am perfect and I do not need to change.
- I always say inappropriate things.
- I do not have time to …
Limiting beliefs about relationships
- Nobody loves me.
- People do not like me.
- No one understands me. Nobody wants to know what I think.
- I will not find love.
- Opening myself to others only serves to get hurt.
Limiting beliefs about work
- Work is to make a living, not to enjoy.
- I cannot make money doing what I like.
- I will never find my dream job.
- Nobody cares about my opinion.
- The boss is in charge and it is better not to question authority.
- I have to work hard. Once I retire, I will rest and have fun.
- I have to do everything myself.
Limiting beliefs about money
- Money does not grow on trees.
- The rich are bad / not to be trusted.
- You can never have enough money.
- When I earn XXX / win the lottery / buy XXX, I will be happy.
- Money corrupts.
How to identify your limiting beliefs
The first step is naturally to identify what belief or beliefs are limiting you. Which beliefs about yourself or about how the world works harm you in some aspect of your life? Think of times when a critical little voice pops into your head and makes you feel insecure or sad. What limiting belief would you like to overcome?
Identify beliefs acquired when young
If you find it difficult to name the belief or beliefs that limit or harm you in any way, this step can help you. Reflect on and write down the beliefs you acquired when you were young from your mother, father, siblings, other relatives, friends, teachers and other reference persons.
Which of these messages still dominate your thoughts? Which of these beliefs are positive and which ones harm your self-confidence, happiness, development, and level of satisfaction? Do you think these messages are true or just a belief that you have thought so many times that you believe them to be true? Which of these beliefs would you like to change to improve your life?
How to overcome limiting beliefs
We like to hold onto our beliefs. Some are so deeply rooted and so fundamental that we do not even realise we have them. But once we let go of those that harm us, we feel liberated. It feels like taking a weight off our shoulders and life seems easier.
But how to abandon a limiting belief? It is not as easy as deciding that you no longer believe in something.
Pick a new positive belief
It is necessary to replace the limiting belief with a positive belief that strengthens us. So think about what you want to believe instead of that limiting belief. Try to formulate it in a positive way. That is, instead of “I’m not stupid” say “I’m smart.” Or instead of “I don’t want to feel insecure” better say “I want to feel confident.”
Immerse yourself in the new belief
How does the new belief make you feel? Immerse yourself in the sensation. What do you see, hear, and feel when you think of that positive belief? The more vivid the sensation, the better it will anchor itself in your subconscious mind.
Anchor the new belief
There are several techniques to anchor the new belief in your conscious and subconscious mind. Therapy, neurolinguistic programming, tapping, hypnosis, or positive affirmations are some examples.
The easiest way to do it on your own is with affirmations. To do this, make a statement that expresses your new belief. Then turn it into a mantra that you repeat to yourself several times a day.
Continue working
I suggest that you only choose one limiting belief at a time. Focus on getting over it. Then repeat the process, identifying and overcoming another limiting belief. Be patient and, above all, be self-compassionate.
Do you find it difficult to overcome your limiting beliefs?
Even if we are aware of a certain belief that is not good for us, it can be difficult for us to overcome it on our own. If this is your case, do not hesitate to contact me. Together we can explore what beliefs limit or hurt you. We will find out which more positive beliefs you can replace them with and will work for you to manage to overcome the limiting ones.
What are your limiting beliefs?
Reading this post and the examples of limiting beliefs, have you identified any belief that harms you? How does it affect your life? What will you do to overcome it?
