The importance of self-discipline and how to achieve it

Do you think you are a disciplined person? Do you also have self-discipline? There are probably situations where you find it easier to be (self)disciplined and others where you find it harder. The good news is that self-discipline can be improved. So let us look at the subtle but important difference between discipline and self-discipline as well as the benefits of the latter. We will also see how you can train yourself to be more (self)-disciplined.

What is discipline

The word discipline comes from the Latin ‘discipulus’, which means ‘disciple’ or ‘student’. Therefore, it is something we learn and train in. It means having a certain code of conduct or order. As children we learn discipline by getting taught self-control and what is acceptable behaviour.

Being disciplined means, for example, arriving on time to work, meetings and appointments. It means fulfilling your work and your commitments to other people.

The difference between discipline and self-discipline

However, self-discipline means going one step further. It is about making a commitment to yourself and fulfilling it. It means doing things that you know are good for you despite not having to be accountable to anyone. So, self-discipline means self-motivating and persevering doing things that will benefit you (in the long run) even though it may be hard, there are obstacles or distractions or you do not feel like it. It requires self-leadership and deciding what is important to you and how to spend your time. No one is going to blame you if you do not do something; you only have to be accountable to yourself.

For example, meeting a friend to go for a run and doing it is discipline. But committing to yourself to go for a run and doing so is self-discipline. Getting up early every morning to meditate or exercise is self-disciplined. Taking time for personal or professional development requires self-discipline. Being productive and proactive working from home, when no one is watching you, also requires self-discipline.

Successful entrepreneurship and self-employment also require a lot of self-discipline. At least in the beginning you will only have to answer to yourself if you do not do everything that starting or running a business takes.

Self-discipline behaviours

It is worth mentioning that there are two possible behaviours when we apply self-discipline.

On the one hand there is virtuous behaviour. That means that you do what you know is good for you and you also do it with pleasure. Thus, your motivations are aligned with your goals.

On the other hand we have contingent behaviour. In this case you do what is best for you but have a hard time because it requires overcoming your motivations. An example could be that you start exercising on a regular basis. You know it is good for you but you do not feel much like it and feel lazy at first.

The trick is to move from contingent to virtuous behaviour. Thinking about implementing good habits, you should ask yourself why you want to create that habit. What is your good reason? If you find a good reason that is convincing to yourself, it will not seem like an obligation.

What do you need to have self-discipline?

In order to be more self-disciplined there are some attitudes and behaviours that will help you.

1. Trust yourself

First of all, trust your ability to learn, improve and give your best. Eliminate the thought that you are not self-disciplined. It is a skill that you can acquire and train. So, trust your ability to learn and grow, and focus on your efforts.

2. Know your weaknesses

We often try to pretend that we do not have flaws and vulnerabilities. We draw a thick veil over what we do not like about ourselves, our bad habits and our weaknesses. But the first step to improve anything is always to become aware. So admit your weaknesses. Ask yourself what could be a stumbling block to being more self-disciplined and achieving what you want.

3. Know your strengths

Just like knowing your weaknesses, recognising your strengths is important. What strengths and skills can help you train your self-discipline and achieve what you want?

4. Be realistic

Furthermore, be realistic about your expectations of yourself. Be aware of what you are capable of giving in each moment. This way you avoid falling into discouragement and abandoning your self-discipline training.

5. Have a positive attitude

Also keep in mind that you will have better and worse days. But if you keep a positive attitude, it will be easier for you to persevere. Therefore, focus on the positive progress you are making. Overlook the difficulties and possible sacrifices. Learn from your progress and possible mistakes to do better and better.

6. Cause-effect and Kaizen

All work has a result. Every effort has a consequence. Therefore, if you work on your self-discipline every day, you will improve. If every day you take a step towards your goal, you will see the results.

However, sometimes we are too ambitious or impatient. Does Kaizen ring a bell? It is a Japanese method of continuous improvement. The idea is to be or do things every day 1% better. After a year that means accumulating an improvement of more than 30%. Not bad at all, right? So value the small improvements and go step by step.

7. Eat and hydrate well

When we are hungry and thirsty our ability to concentrate and our willpower reduce. Keep in mind that our brain is the organ that consumes the most energy.

Therefore, eating healthy by providing your body with the necessary vitamins and minerals is key. In the same way is ingesting enough liquid in the form of water, tea, fruit, soups and broths. Avoid processed foods and sugary drinks.

8. Change your belief

Last, but perhaps most importantly, get rid of the belief that you lack self-discipline. Remember Henry Ford’s phrase: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.”

If you think you do not have willpower, self-control, and self-discipline, you will not. Our limiting beliefs greatly influence what we think we are capable of doing (or not doing). Nor is it a matter of you telling yourself right away ‘I am self-disciplined’ because deep down you might not believe it. Telling yourself “I can train and improve my self-discipline” is enough in the beginning.

How to train self-discipline

Once we have laid the foundation of what will help you with self-discipline, let us look at the steps to train it.

1. What do you want to be self-disciplined in?

First ask yourself what exactly you would like to improve your self-discipline on. Perhaps you would like to eat better, exercise more, take more time for learning or relaxation exercises, or persevere in certain personal or professional goals.

If you can think of more than one thing, make a list.

2. Prioritise

Now consider which of the things you have written down on the list is the most important to you right now. Choose an activity or habit to start with and, along the way, train your self-discipline. It can be both a new thing to begin and a bad habit to break.

Also reflect on why it is important to you. Remember that having a good reason will give you motivation to persevere. In this way you reduce the possibilities of the excuse that you do not have time.

Once you have managed to implement it, choose the next thing on your list. You will see that this way it will be easier for you.

3. Create goals and an action plan

Once you have chosen what you want to be more self-disciplined with, think about what you want to achieve and what are the steps to take. To make it easier for you I suggest you use the WOOP method.

It consists of first visualising your wish. Second, think about the outcome you want to achieve. Then take into account possible obstacles that may arise: lack of time or desire, temptations, distractions, etc.

Finally, establish a plan of the steps to take to achieve your desire and how to react when you run into obstacles. The important thing about the WOOP method is the fact of taking into account possible obstacles and being prepared to face them.

4. Take small steps

When it comes to implementing improvements or new habits, we often complicate things. We apply an ‘all or nothing’ mindset and therefore find it difficult to start or persevere.

To be able to run a marathon, you must first learn to run well and then increase the distances. When you learned your profession, you did not expect to know everything the first day either. You acquired knowledge and skills little by little.

Well, the same applies to training self-discipline and new habits. Start with small steps. The more difficult it seems to you, the smaller try to make the steps. Do you want to exercise more? Instead of pretending to start with an hour of exercise, begin with, for example, 15 minutes.

5. Lean on good habits

Anything we make a habit of requires less willpower. So good habits help you with self-discipline.

To create a new habit, there are several tricks to help you. You can prepare your environment to remind you of your new habit. You can perform the new habit just before or after another well-established routine. Rewarding or congratulating yourself each time you do the new activity is another trick to stay motivated.

6. Eliminate temptations

You know the saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’? It is one of the best tricks to avoid temptations that distract you from your good intentions.

If you want to be more productive, eliminate potential distractions. Examples could be keeping your desk tidy or muting mobile notifications.

If you want to improve your diet, avoid buying sweets, unhealthy snacks and ultra-processed foods. If you do not have them at home, it will be difficult to eat them, right?

7. Forget the results

Implementing new habits is also often hard because at first we do not see (great) results. But that does not mean that we are not experiencing improvements.

Therefore, forget for at least a month about the results and benefits you expect to obtain. Instead, focus only on your commitment, on being disciplined and persevering.

8. Keep yourself motivated

Staying motivated is key to persevering in training your self-discipline.

So congratulate yourself for every step you take. Give yourself a pat on the back every time you do the new habit.

For this, the exercise of gratitude can help you. At the end of the day, do a mental review or write in your diary at least five things for which you are grateful.

You can also think of rewards to give yourself when you reach certain goals. Reward yourself with something you like and have fun with. The anticipation of the reward is also motivating in itself.

As well, you can ask a trusted person to be your accountability partner. That is to say, ask them to ask you how you are doing or pay them a “fine” for each time you fail. That could be taking them to a restaurant, treating them to a self-cooked meal, or paying them money, for example. Whatever you consider appropriate.

You can also take the professional help of a coach or mentor to help you with all the steps we have seen.

9. Be self-compassionate

Even with the best intentions and the best plan, things will not always work out the way you intended. You will have better and worse days. You will waver in your purposes. Or, you will falter one day with your new habit.

When that time comes, do not be hard on yourself. Do not get caught up in guilt, frustration, or anger. Show yourself compassion and forgive yourself.

But then move on. Reflect on what has gone wrong or what has made you falter. How can you avoid it next time? The key is to learn from your mistakes, so as to do things better and better.

How is your self-discipline?

Ready to train your self-discipline? What would you like to be more self-disciplined in? Why have you had a hard time with it so far? Which steps are you going to take to train your self-discipline?

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