How to calm the nerves before an interview, meeting or exam

Sometimes we face situations that are very important to us. This can be a job interview, an exam, a presentation, a speech or a meeting. We want it to turn out the best way possible and the result to be positive. That means we want to get the job, pass the exam, sell our product to a client etc.

As both the situation and the result are important to us, we put ourselves under pressure. Therefore we may feel from butterflies to a knot in our stomach. When our bodies becomes alert, it prepares for extraordinary efforts. The question is whether we let this stress be positive or negative.

How to prepare for this effort and calm the nerves

In order to calm our nerves, a combination of preparation, self-confidence and feeling of calmness will helpful. As well, knowing how to deal with the sense of uncertainty and our expectations will also help us.

Accept that you cannot control all aspects. You can prepare yourself as far as you know but you will not know 100% what will happen. This is normal and it will not help you get nervous due to it. Regarding expectations, it is good to want to give our best. However, it is also true that high expectations will make us more nervous for wanting to achieve the desired results.

Let us assume that you know a few days in advance that you will face an important situation. That is why I will arrange the tips from the instant you know when you will have that meeting or important event up to the moment itself.

From when you know about it

When you learn about this exam, important meeting, interview etc. you can start preparing yourself. We will never be able to control all aspects but the better we are prepared the calmer and more confident we will feel. So, get down to work.

Prepare an exam

Outline a study plan according to quantity of subject matter to study and the number of hours you have for it per day. Reserve time for studying, reviewing and also relaxing. Our concentration slips after 45 to 60 minutes, so you should take a short break and stretch your legs every now and then.

Depending on the amount of matter to study, you should reserve the last days or day before the exam for a final review. You might want to ask a family member or friend for help with the review, be it to tell them about the whole subject or for them to ask questions about it. This will help you check if you remember everything well and if you know how to put it in your own words.

Prepare a job interview

Nowadays, with internet at our disposal, it is easier to inform oneself about a company and even the person who will interview us. Therefore I suggest you look up the website of the company you want to work for and read about its history, portfolio and mission. If during the interview the question arises why you are interested in working for that company you will be able to give a more substantial reply.

Moreover, LinkedIn is a good tool to search the company or the person who will interview you. Only take into account that if you access the person’s profile, he/she will know. That might not be bad because it will show that you have taken an interest in knowing more about him/her.

Furthermore I suggest you prepare for the questions that might come up. Typical questions can be about strengths and weaknesses or achievements. Therefore it can be interesting to make a personal SWOT analysis to think about your strengths and weaknesses. Then go through your CV and remember important projects or other kinds of achievements.

Same as with the preparation for an exam, you might want to ask a trusted person to ask you some of the typical questions and practice your replies.

Prepare a meeting

If what you need is to prepare an important meeting, first think about what is the aim and which information you require. Is there information you need to request from others? Is it necessary to prepare a presentation or report? Request the required information so that you have enough time to shape it for your meeting.

Prepare a yearly assessment or a meeting to ask for a pay rise

Some companies have questionnaires for the yearly review. On one hand one goes through tasks and responsibilities, projects carried out as well as the performance according to certain competencies. On the other hand, the idea is to comment points for improvement as well as interest in personal and professional development, be it in the shape of new responsibilities or training.

If you do not have a questionnaire, think about the points mentioned and write down everything you want to share.

In case of a meeting to ask for a pay rise, this reflection is also important. Moreover, the SWOT analysis can give you clarity about your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. All this will help you reason why you deserve a rise.

Prepare a presentation or speech

Maybe your important moment is a talk to a group of people. Then research the subject and prepare your speech. Think about your audience in order to correctly approach the message. Rehearse as many times as necessary to feel that you good give the speech without the help of notes and in order to check that your message is fluent.

Again, it can be helpful to ask a trusted person to listen to you. On one hand you will practice before an audience. On the other hand they can tell you if what you want to transmit becomes clear.

The day before

The afternoon before the important moment, I suggest you do not more than maybe a last review. But rather reserve it to relax with a hobby, a good walk, some physical activity, playing with your kids or meeting with friends for a laugh for example. Try to calm your mind by disconnecting and thinking about something else.

Evening ritual

I suggest you turn the time before going to bed into a ritual to calm your body and mind. The U.S. National Sleep Foundation recommends not using screens, that is TV, smartphone or tablet, during at least one hour before going to sleep. They have proven in studies that the use of these devices is related to sleep disturbances and insomnia.

In order to help yourself fall better asleep I therefore recommend you chose activities without screen. Talk to your family, read a good book, meditate, do some yoga or stretching for example. It can also be a good moment to choose your outfit for the next day.

Then get ready for bed. When putting on your pyjamas, washing your face and brushing your teeth, try to pay attention to everything you do. Try to carry out each movement with mindfulness.

Once in bed I suggest you do a mindfulness exercise called gratitude. The idea is to go through everything good that has happened during the day or last days, everything you can be grateful for and proud of. This is a great exercise to fall asleep with positive thoughts on your mind. Thinking about what you are proud of and what you have achieved will moreover strengthen your self-esteem.

I suggest you carry out this ritual in the days prior to that important event in order to turn into an habit ending your days in a peaceful and calm way.

The morning of the important day

The big day has arrived. In order to keep your nerves at bay, I suggest you turn your morning activities into a ritual of calmness. Carry out your everyday routine with mindfulness. Enjoy a good shower focussing on the feeling of the water running down your body. Prepare a good and healthy breakfast and enjoy it alone or in family.

If you practice meditation, dedicate at least fifteen minutes to it before breakfast. Even if you do not have the habit of meditating, spend some minutes being present and calm. Therefore sit on a chair with a straight back and place your hands softly on your legs. Close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling of your breath. Accept all the thoughts going through your mind without analysing or judging them.

If you have a hard time with this, focus on your body sensations by doing a slow scan from your feet to your head. Pay attention to the feeling of your feet on the ground, the insteps, calves, shins, thighs and so on. Move your focus slowly and gradually upwards going through the different body parts. Only pay attention to what you notice without analysing it.

Both meditation and body scan allow us to connect our attention and mind with our body and the present moment. That way we calm our nerves because we reduce our mind wandering to the future.

On the way to the meeting or exam

Before the big moment, I recommend you take at least fifteen to thirty minutes to find again calmness. I suggest you go for a short mindful walk. That means you walk at a slow pace paying attention to the feeling of your feet touching the ground. Become aware of how your different body parts work when walking.

Then remind yourself that you have prepared yourself well for this moment and that you have done all you can. Congratulate yourself and be proud of all the preparation work, including the exercises to take care of your well-being and find calmness. Think that what has to happen will happen. Although you cannot control 100% all aspects, you will give your best.

Right before the big moment

There are a couple of minutes left before that exam, interview, speech or meeting. If you still feel very nervous, take a moment to breathe slowly. Inhale normally and then exhale all the air you can. When you really feel the need to breathe in again, do so slowly. Then release the air again all you can. Repeat this action several times until you feel calmer.

If your self-esteem needs a little boost, I suggest the so-called power pose. Lift your arms over your head in V-shape, thus opening your breast and breathe in profoundly.

Make an impression

The time has come to give your best in that meeting, speech, interview or exam. Remember that you are prepared. You should feel calmer and concentrated. So, give your best and impress them.

Recap

In order to calm your nerves for an important and special occasion it is helpful to prepare well and take time to relax and calm down.

Do you take any of these steps to control your nerves? Do you have other tips to feel calmer and more confident?

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