How to cope with uncertainty

Throughout life we encounter times of uncertainty over and over again. Depending on the type of uncertainty, we can feel excited or scared. Let us look in more detail at what uncertainty is and why it worries us sometimes and others not. And let us see what we can do when we get scared or anxious.

What is uncertainty

It can be defined as a situation of which we have limited knowledge. We have some uncertainty of what awaits us in the future. Therefore, it is difficult for us to predict the outcome and the consequences.

Unlike animals, humans can make future projections. But that does not mean that we know exactly what the future holds. But it does allow us to prepare for eventualities.

Why we fear uncertainty

The feeling of safety is one of the basic needs of the human being. We like to feel safe and in control of our life. That is why uncertainty can stress us and make us feel powerless.

Faced with situations that we consider worrisome or threatening, stress is our body’s reaction to alert us. We can experience fear if we feel that our integrity and safety are in some way at risk. But we can also suffer from anxiety. Anxiety arises when we imagine these situations and become obsessed with them.

But it is not always like this

However, not all situations of uncertainty concern us. A surprise party would not excite us in the same way if we already knew about it. We do not usually want to know the gift we will receive for our birthday, the end of a movie or a book. Accidentally running into someone you have not seen in a while is also usually a positive surprise.

These are unknowns that do not scare us. On the contrary, they tend to excite us, positively surprise us and be to our liking. It has even been shown in studies that some uncertainty can be motivating. At the University of Chicago, they found that people got more excited and worked harder when they were unaware of the reward that awaited them.

How not to deal with uncertainty

Not knowing what will happen, what we will do or what others will do. Not knowing what others think or feel. All of this can be a source of worry and anxiety. Unlike animals, humans can worry about the future. But we can also decide to ignore it.

Excessive worry

Worry means thinking about possible future threats. It means fearing or feeling insecure about what may happen. That can lead us to think about all possible future scenarios, each one more worrying or threatening. Maybe we cannot stop thinking that we will lose our job. Or we worry that our partner is being unfaithful to us. Or we fear a presentation at work thinking that we will make a fool of ourselves. We may also compare ourselves to others thinking that they are much better off. Maybe we seek constant reassurance with others.

Avoidance

Another strategy is to completely avoid thinking about uncertain situations or not wanting to face them. Maybe you avoid going to events with people you do not know for fear of what they will think of you.

You may be offered a promotion at work. But for fear of uncertainty you reject it. You think you are more secure in your current position that you already know. Or you may avoid making decisions and if there is no choice but to make one, you ask others for their opinion. This is how you think you are relieving yourself of the burden of responsibility.

How to deal with uncertainty

As we have seen, not handling uncertainty properly causes stress, worry, fear, and even anxiety. How then can we better cope with uncertain situations?

Life is change

First of all, it is helpful to accept that the only certain thing in life is that it changes. We grow and evolve. In the same way everything does around us. If we want to not be paralysed by fear or overtaken by anxiety due to uncertainty, we should expect the unexpected. We should be prepared for surprise.

You cannot control it all

The sense of security and control we long for is an illusion. Life is full of unforeseen events and unknowns.

That is why it is better to learn to accept that you cannot control everything. It is impossible to know and foresee everything that happens around us. It is not even possible to know all the consequences of our own actions. Because we cannot control how others may react to them.

Control what you can

Instead of getting stuck in worry, take action. Firstly, it is in your power to control your attitude. As well, you can manage your emotions.

Then, depending on your situation and what worries you, you can plan to prepare for the unexpected. An example might be saving money for lean times. You can also take other action steps.

If you are concerned about your work situation, you can train and retrain. If you have lost your job you have control over the amount of energy you invest in finding another one. You can search for job opportunities, send your CV, and network.

If you are concerned about your health, you can take care of your body with a good hygiene, diet and physical activity. So consider what you can really control, and how you can act.

Check your need for certainty

I also suggest that you reflect on the situations of uncertainty that stress you. What are your strategies to try to control them? Before making a decision, do you ask those around you again and again if it is the correct one? Or do you spend much time gathering information in order to gain certainty about your decision?

Maybe you tend to procrastinate. You postpone decisions. You postpone acting or directly avoid certain situations.

Another sign may be the need for micromanagement. In an effort to control everything, you do not delegate anything. Taking care of even the smallest details is your way of feeling in control.

Lastly, you may find yourself checking everything too many times. You check your work or your emails over and over again. You may chase your loved ones with calls or messages to check that they are okay.

Embrace the uncertainty

Reflect on what the above behaviors bring you. Do they really make you feel safer or do they stress and distress you? Do you think uncertainty equals threat or disaster? Just because something is uncertain it does not have to be bad. Try to remember all the positive surprises that life has brought you.

Also think about habits that trigger anxiety or fear. Do you tend to overthink things? Or do you usually have a pessimistic vision of the future? Do you consume too much information on television or the internet that makes you see the world as an unsafe or even dangerous place?

Remember that life is change and we cannot predict everything that will happen. That is why it is better to learn to live with uncertainty. That does not mean to ignore your emotions. Give yourself permission to feel insecurity and fear and then let go.

Pay attention to your body and the present

Pay attention to your body’s signals. Stress, anguish and anxiety are usually noticeable in that our stomach shrinks, in headaches, muscle tension or shortness of breath. When you notice these sensations, stop for a moment and breathe in and out slowly for a while.

Worry and anxiety are usually due to having the mind in the future. We imagine everything bad that could happen. We probably exaggerate the problems we have and their consequences on our lives. But if you focus your attention on the present moment, you will notice that you calm down. Try to become aware of what surrounds you right now, your body and your breathing. Focus on what you can control right now.

If you tend to anxiety and stress, it is convenient that you learn several relaxation techniques and make them part of your routine.

Expand your comfort zone

Finally, the smaller our world is, the more threatening seems what is outside of it. That is why it is helpful to expand our comfort zone. The more we face our insecurities and fears, the more courageous we become. The more we test our limits, the more we grow. In addition, novelty makes us more creative.

Reflect on which small steps you can take to get out of your comfort zone. How can you broaden your horizons? It could be attending events that you usually avoid. Maybe it is trying a new hobby. Signing up for a course on a topic that is completely new to you. Or starting to delegate small chores to your family members. Instead of controlling your children with countless calls, ask them to call you at certain times.

It all depends on what type of uncertainty affects you the most and the strategies you have used so far to deal with it. The goal is for you to learn to experience uncertainty and live better with it. You do not have to like it. But it is about showing yourself that you can tolerate it.

How do you handle uncertainty?

Does uncertainty usually stress you? Which situations tend to make you more nervous or scared? How do you usually deal with them?

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