[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]It is difficult to admit our fears, not only to other people but also to ourselves. Fear is a natural and necessary emotion. The problem arises when imagined fears limit our life. Let us see what fear is, why you should overcome your fears and how to manage.
What is fear
As I said, fear is a natural emotion that warns us of threats and dangers to our physical or psychological integrity. Therefore, it is a survival mechanism. Certain fears are evolutionary. They are innate to help us survive. But other fears are acquired through negative or even traumatic experiences.
The threat to our integrity that we perceive can be real or imagined. Dangers in our environment, certain things or situations can cause fear. We may also fear the unknown, future events, or imagined events. And that perception of danger leads us to either a fight or a flight reaction.
There are innate and acquired #fears. Why and how to overcome your fears. #OvercomeYourFears Click To Tweet
The difference between fear and phobia
A phobia causes anxiety and a disproportionate response to the perceived threat. It freezes us so that we are unable to function and react. While we can work alone to confront our fears, in case of a phobia we need professional help from a psychologist to guide us.
Why avoiding your fears may not be the best solution
As we have seen, in principle, fear warns us of a situation of danger to our integrity. However, many of the fears we experience nowadays do not really pose a life-threatening situation.
When we do our best to avoid experiencing fear, we teach our amygdala that we are not capable of overcoming the situation. In the short term it can make us feel better to have avoided that threatening situation. But in the long term we will be more and more afraid to face it. We will feel anxiety just thinking about the situation and we will even develop a fear of the fear itself.
Age and fear
As we have seen, most fears are acquired through a process of learning and education. Babies are only born with fears that are inherited from evolution. As we grow, we learn how to behave and how to manage our emotions. Through our environment and our experiences we develop behavioural patterns to survive. In other words, we learn how to deal with situations. With this we can develop different limiting fears.
Maybe our parents encouraged us to try new things. But we also may have learned that it is better to avoid things we do not know. In other words, from a young age we learn to flee from a threatening or uncertain situation or face it. The more we avoid a situation, the more nervous it will make us.
Also, we may learn to stick to certain situations as a protection mechanism. Attachment to comfort, security, certainty and feeling loved can become fears in disguise.
The more we avoid experiencing a #fear, the more it grows. We may even develop a fear of the fear itself. #OvercomeYourFears Click To Tweet
Why face your fears
Facing our fears makes us freer. It is not about becoming reckless. It is about freeing ourselves from chains that may be limiting us in our lives.
To do this, reflect on what your fear or fears prevent you from doing. There will be fears that have almost no impact on your life. For example, if you are afraid of snakes but do not live in a country where you have to face them. But there are other fears that do limit our:
- personal relationships,
- freedom of movement or experiences that we may miss,
- self-confidence and self-esteem,
- personal or professional development.
So I suggest you identify your fears. Then reflect on how they hold you back. Next consider the pros and cons of dealing with your fear. How would it affect your life and what could you achieve if you liberated yourself from that fear?
“The #fears we don’t face become our #limits.” #RobinSharma #OvercomeYourFears Click To Tweet
How to overcome your fears
Overcoming the fears that limit us in our life requires getting used to them gradually. The point is accustoming our brain in small doses to experiencing the fear but still acting. The trick is to do it gradually and repeatedly. In this way we avoid freezing due to panic, which would override all positive progress. Let us see the steps to take in order to gradually overcome your fears.
1. What if you did not face your fear?
First of all, ask yourself what would happen if you did nothing about your fear. How would your life be? What will you miss out of fear? Which experiences will you not have due to fear? To what extent will your quality of life suffer?
2. Assess the risks
What exactly are you afraid of? How dangerous is the situation really? What is the worst thing that could happen to you? How realistic is it that your fear becomes reality? What is the alternative and how likely is it to occur?
As much as possible check your reflections. That is, discuss them with someone else to test their validity. You can also check statistics. Depending on your fear, there will not always be hard data. But there are probably stories of overcoming and success that will help you put your fear into perspective.
What are you afraid of? How dangerous is the situation really that you fear? Questions to overcome your #fears. #OvercomeYourFears Click To Tweet
3. Create a positive goal
If you have decided to confront your fear, reflect on what you want to achieve. How do you want to feel? What experience do you want to have? What achievement do aim at?
Try to formulate your goal in a positive way:
- Example of negative formulation: I do not want to be afraid to speak in public.
- Example of a positive objective: I want to have the confidence to transmit my ideas to the audience. It would be great if I could capture their attention and interest.
The positive formulation is important because our brain does not understand “no”. If we think “I do not want to be afraid”, we will be left with the word “afraid”. But if you think “I want to feel safe and confident,” you will assimilate those two adjectives. In other words, you start from a stronger position and a more positive feeling. That gives you a starting point where you will feel more confident that you can get through the situation.
4. Create the right emotional state
Imagine how you want to feel. Visualise yourself with confidence, serenity, joy. Remind yourself of every time you overcame a situation that scared you. Remember each time you were scared but then the situation was not as bad as you had imagined. How did you feel in those situations? Where were you, who were you with, what did you hear, even what did you smell or taste? The more senses you use to remember those positive experiences, the more strength they will give you.
It is about learning to gain the self-confidence that whatever comes, you will be able to deal with it. Also remember and take advantage of your resources and strengths. Stick with that feeling of strength, security and of being at ease.
The power of visualisation
Visualisation is a powerful tool to help us with this and the following points. Even if you cannot think of a positive situation related to your fear, you can take advantage of the visualisation. Replace negative and catastrophic images with a positive version of the situation. Again try to take advantage of all your senses: sight, hearing, touch, emotions.
There is nothing bad in embellishing the situation even unrealistically according to your wishes and imaginations. Just as we acquire intangible and imagined fears, we can create a more positive story in our mind. It is scientifically proven that interestingly our mind in many ways does not distinguish between reality and imagination. We can take advantage of that fact to overcome our fears.
So imagine how happy and fulfilling your life will be when you overcome your fear. What can you achieve? How can you develop your potential? Which experiences can you have? What joys will you stop missing out on?
Do you have a #fear that limits you? Imagine how your life could be if you overcame it. #OvercomeYourFears Click To Tweet
5. Expand your comfort zone
We have three zones: the comfort zone, the learning or growth zone and the panic zone. The comfort zone is where we feel safe, protected and at ease. This, in principle, is not bad. The problem arises when our comfort zone is limited and we are afraid to leave it. Because beyond the comfort zone lies the growth zone. In that area we can feel excitement, some insecurity and some fear but still be able to act. But if we venture further we can enter the panic zone. This is where we freeze due to dread and anguish.
To overcome our fears, the trick is to move within the learning and growth zone. We take a small step, overcome it and get used to it. Then we take another step and another step. In this way, little by little, our comfort zone widens and with that the area of movement in which we feel comfortable and confident.
How to expand the comfort zone
First of all, accept that when you venture into the growth zone you may feel some anxiety. There is nothing wrong with it. However, do not wait for it to disappear before taking a step. If not, you will wait forever and stay stuck in your comfort zone.
Consider which small steps you can take to overcome your fear. Can you investigate about it and its real risks? Can you read stories of people who have overcome it? Perhaps you can prepare for the situation by studying the subject and the strategies to use. You could also surround yourself with people who do not have that fear.
The next step might be to visualise the situation multiple times; obviously in its positive version, not the catastrophic one. Imagine in detail how you will behave and how you will feel. Visualise how you will feel when you have overcome that situation that scares you.
Then maybe you can somehow rehearse that scary situation. First rehearsing alone, then with a trusted person, then in a real situation.
The idea is to take small steps that make you nervous but not so anxious that you panic. Of course, the steps can vary depending on the fear you have. But the point is that you learn to dance with your fear. In other words, learn to act in spite of it.
#ComfortZone, #GrowthZone and #PanicZone - how to take advantage of them to overcome your #fears. #OvercomeYourFears #LearningZone Click To Tweet
6. Take a deep breath
When we suffer stress and anxiety due to fear, we tend to hold our breath or hyperventilate. So, regulating our breathing helps us relieve stress and get us out of the paralysis due to fear. Normalising the breathing regulates the level of oxygen and dioxide in the blood. It also helps us connect with our body, thus bringing us to the present moment.
To do this, breathe in normally and then release as much air as you can. Repeat that action several times. Another option is to inhale and exhale several times while covering a nostril. Then repeat whilst covering the other side.
Other tips to alleviate fears
In addition to the steps mentioned, the following ideas can help you alleviate fear.
- Remember that you are not the only one who is afraid.
- Admit out loud that you feel very nervous or afraid. Then breathe in and out deeply. Showing yourself vulnerable to others shows strength and will win their sympathy.
- Talk to a trusted person about your fear.
- Practice physical activities to relieve stress.
- Practice mindfulness and meditation to learn to be in the present and accept what is. Mindfulness trains you not to resist the feeling of experiencing fear and to observing the symptoms without judgment. With this you will learn to be calmer as well as more compassionate and patient with yourself.
- Write in a journal about your fears.
- Think positive and use affirmations or mantras to control your fear.
- Find a therapist to help you overcome your fears.
Do you dare to overcome your fears?
Are you ready to face your fears? What do your fears keep you from doing? How do they limit your life? What would you like to do if you were not afraid?
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